It's Called a Lunch Hour For a Reason

I know much of the world does not operate on an 8-5 daily schedule with a lunch hour in there somewhere and to those people who do not, I am, at times envious of you. (Stay at home moms, retail workers, hair dressers, hunters, preachers) But I implore all NON 8-5ers to understand that the rest of the world works, lives, and eats very differently from you. We have a lunch HOUR and unfortunately we must take said hour, at lunch. While it can be flexible and be from say 111:30 - 12:30 or even 12 - 1, it still must be taken during a very busy time of the day. You see, all 8-5ers are going to lunch during this same window of time.

Which brings me to today. I left my office in downtown Columbia at 11am. I left extra early since I knew I was pushing it to try and make it over to Harbison Boulevard and back in an hour. So my excursion took me to David's Bridal to purchase a bridesmaid's dress for my best friend's wedding (Lauren). I had gone with Lauren to pick the dress out and therefore knew what the dress looked like and what size I would need.

The trip should have been quick and painless. (You guess the operative word here.) So after waiting about 4 minutes for any type of service at all, I went round and round with some lady about how I was ordering a dress for Lauren Brown's MAY wedding, not one in October. She finally agreed that I may know what I am talking about and conceded. She embarked on her mission to find the dress saying, "I am not a consultant so it may take me a minute." A minute, my foot. It took six minutes. I specifically told her that I would need a size 10. So instead, she brings me a size 8 saying, "You look smaller than a size 10, so I think you should try this first." (Remember, she's not a consultant!) I said, "While I appreciate the compliment, I know I need a size 10 b/c I have tried the dress on before and I will be three months pregnant at the MAY wedding." She still refused to let me try on the 10 until I showed her that my birthing hips (also know as parentheses) were already too large for a size 8.

Meanwhile, the non-consultant has gone back up to the front to stop consulting and has left me with someone I will call Barbara (for the sake of anonymity). Barbara brought me the size 10 upon visually "sizing me up" and thought I may also like to try a 12. She even went so far as to tell me to try on the size 12 first. At this point, I lost it. I went off explaining the logistics of a lunch hour and that I had to take off my clothes, try on the 10, take off the 10, put on my clothes, order the 10, and get back to work NOW. So she agreed to give me the 10 reminding me that the color was not what Lauren had picked out! WHO CARES...It is not the exact dress I am buying, but merely a gauge to tell me what size to buy!

So off with the clothes, on with the dress, out to pony around for Barbara who LOVED the dress on me (even the color), off with dress, on with my clothes, back out to Barbara who escorted me to the cash register. Barbara helps me at the register by putting in all the wedding information (another conversation about which Lauren Brown wedding this was for) and then swipes my credit card for $135 plus tax. I asked for the ship date as I am anxious since I am late on ordering the dress anyway. She said the computer wouldn't tell her that until the transaction was complete. Mind you, the transaction is FINAL (no returns) so I am banking on everything being fine. She tells me the approximate ship date is May 14 (wedding is May 24). I ask her if that is GUARANTEED. She says that it shouldn't be a problem. Then, pushing my luck, I tell her that I need it in writing in order to ensure I will have the dress (as if the writing makes it real). Barb tells me that will take a few minutes as she'll have to get a manager. I tell her that I will wait b/c I must have the guarantee. Barb then says, in a sarcastic tone, "I thought you only had a lunch hour." It was all I could do not to punch her!

15 minutes later I leave the store with my size 10 black halter dress ordered and $140 in the red for the trip. Barbara still had the same amount of teeth as before; I only hope we meet again when I go to pick up the dress.

At this point, it is 5 minutes until 12 and I know I will not make it back to work on time. So I go to Chickfila who is currently experiencing the lunch hour rush and sit through the drive thru. Now, Chickfila understands the nature of a lunch hour. I was about the 13th car in line, yet I was out of there in under 5 minutes. If only they sold bridesmaid dresses.

The drive back to work went nicely as I enjoyed some Beatles on the ipod and my 12 pack nuggets with a side of chicken strips (6 count). Hey, gotta carb up for the bridge run.