Could Amber Be Right?

Those of you that know me well, know that I like to eat. My grandfather used to always say that I was an expensive date to the fair because I would want to hit up all the stands for the various food items.

I wrote in a much earlier post about about getting a 12 pack nuggets and a side of chicken strips at Chickfila -- this is neither due to pregnancy nor is it rare. In fact, I typically enjoy a combo meal somewhere with an extra sandwich. That's just how I roll.

I hate going to weddings because I am fearful I won't get enough to eat so I typically stop at Bojangles for a supremes combo before I hit the ceremony. That way, I am sure to be a happy camper at the reception. (Note - I feel the same way about eating at friend's houses so I usually offer to bring an appetizer.)

Those diets that recommend 5 meals a day never worked for me because a meal for me could never be small.

Recently, friends were amazed that I could put away an entire plate of Yamato's food. I don't believe in doggie bags.

I once got in a fight with my best friend Lauren because she thought I was indulging myself too much by having two granola bars just before bed (we were on a cross country road trip) - so I snuck the extra granola bar into my bed and ate it very quietly after she fell asleep. (This instance is rare as I typically show no shame in the amount that I eat.)

My boss went to Europe for three weeks and brought me back napkins with the Oliver lyrics to Food Glorious Food on them.

I give directions to people based on restaurants. I go to cities based on restaurants.

Where am I going with this? I absolutely don't understand the weight gain I am experiencing with this pregnancy!

There is no way I could possibly eat more pregnant than when I was not pregnant. Let's also not forget that I was pretty sick for the first 2-3 months losing most of what I ate to the porcelain god in any bathroom that was nearby. It took me a while to even have an appetite. I was beginning to wonder if I would ever love again the way that I loved food.

So I finally got my appetite back and was able to eat again, but not nearly as much as before. My tiniest of friends, Jessica, even surpassed my ability at a lunch date at Miyo's.

So how have I put on almost twenty pounds?! I have had several people pose different theories. One woman, a local OB nurse, explained that my due date is probably wrong since I am so big. A work associate explained aloud, at a meeting, that I could be having twins. While these layman could be right about my pregnancy, my doctor assures me my due date is November 22 and I am only having one! I am convinced that my friend, Amber, is right and I will have a 15 pound baby. (see her vote on the baby poll) That is the only sensible explanation to the massive weight gain.

I know every pregnancy is unique and that Britney Spears gained 60 pounds and that some of this is water weight and that some people gain more weight early on. I have heard it all! But folks, I am large!

I am already uncomfortable and am not even halfway there! Doug and I are sure to make many trips to the counseling tent as a result of me snipping at him because he did this to me!

It's going to be a long summer.

Oh Happy Day?

This is kind of a big deal, folks - Ron Burgundy is coming back! If he thought people knew him before, he's really headed for stardom now! I only hope the new movie is set in San Diego again, which as you all know means a whale's, well, you know!

In a world full of sequels and prequels, it is clear to me that 60% of the time, they are funny every time. Anchorman 2 should be no different, especially if it has bits of real panther in it. That way. we'll know it's good. And if Veronica Corningstone is done being a dirty pirate hooker and Brick Tamland is not serving a life sentence for killing a man with a trident, then this movie is going to be box office gold!

Stay Classy Blog Readers and Thanks for Stopping By. Stay Classy. Thanks for stopping by. But mostly, just stay classy.

Here's the whole story: http://movies.msn.com/movies/hitlist/06-17-08_2/?GT1=7701

17 Week Vanity Moment

I am not one of those people who will chronicle all 40 weeks of my pregnancy in pictures. In fact, this is the first picture that purposely got my belly. Most other pictures just can't seem to ignore it, but I neglect to post those. I was not the most svelte of people prior to pregnancy so it is no where near as cute as say, Melissa or Lindsay or Shelley...But I know people wanted to see something! So there is my 17 weeks and 3 days picture! I have several other poster pics planned for later in the pregnancy so I will try and mark the milestone weeks!

Four Things You All Should Know

Ok, maybe not all of you, but certainly any high school graduate should know the following four things:

YIELD does not mean STOP. I know the fact that both signs are red can be confusing, but the different shapes should be a signal that they mean different things. In fact, the highway department often times leave ample space for one to continue yielding into traffic until their desired lane opens up (i.e. Exit 12 - Forest Drive on I-77). Please do not stop at a yield sign. (Go ahead and argue with me about dumb drivers that won't let you in; I would enjoy the banter).

TIME conversion into decimals (atleast in quarter hour increments). If you are gone for four hours and thirty minutes, how would you write that as a decimal? 4.5 (Correct) If you worked for two hours and fifteen minutes, how would account for that on a time sheet? 2.25 (Correct) Ok, so I will admit this is probably the most difficult of my four things, but it is still manageable. I am sure my friend Shelley who teaches 4th grade math could help if you're struggling.

There is difference between your and you're. "I'm glad your back" is technically a sentence fragment. It needs something more like "I'm glad your back is not broken" or "I'm glad your back was recently waxed." However if you merely want to welcome someone upon return from a long absence, you can say, "I'm glad you're back" and not even have to comment on their back hair status. The apostrophe in you're replaces the A in ARE and is completely different than your. One level up from this is the difference is there and they're. But this is probably geared more toward academicians.

Pro wrestling is not real. I used to watch STING (wrestler with mask, not singer with blonde hair), Ric Flair, Lex Luger, Flyin Brian and Macho Man Randy Savage. But it was really more about the cool outfits and spending time with my dad. It is not real folks.

So, I am sure you're (see how it works so much better than your) all thinking I am in one of those irritable pregnancy stages and you're saying sympathy prayers for Doug at this point, but I am really doing fine. Really. I just wanted to post about something and I realized there were a few things that bothered me this week that I let roll off my back.

By the way, we find out what we're having in about 2 1/2 weeks so it is not too late to change your baby poll vote to boy if you want to win babysitting privileges!

What Dreams May Come

They (whoever they are) say that pregnant women usually have vivid, weird dreams. I am definitely pregnant then! Here are a few one-line snippets of some of my dreams. Oh how I wish for biblical times and a wise interpreter.

• Reba McEntire's restaurant, got the wrong sandwiches delivered to us, she tells me to wait and come back at dinner.
• Watched animated Barbie riding a horse.
• Doug leaves me at the mall to run off with Britney Spears (Britney circa 2000, not 2008)
• Slapped a man in the park for punting my pet beagle across the park, beagle was hidden in kitchen cabinet for three days so Doug wouldn't find him.
• Flew through gang ridden streets with Harry Potter
• Ran from my house (NE Columbia) to Ashley Beam's house (SE Columbia) with a running club through an obstacle course with yarn-headed monkeys
• Searching through a cargo train filled with bags of flour that had baby doll heads and arms attached. Looked for a boy bag of flour but only found girls.

These are just the ones I remember folks! What is going on in my brain! This is out of control.

My Fair Lady

Last weekend was my best friend from college's wedding. I was a bridesmaid in the wedding and luckily my dress still fit despite being almost 4 months pregnant. I didn't exactly rock the dress, but didn't look too awful. The wedding was nice and as always, I had a blast at the reception. I did the obligatory Electric Slide, Cha Cha Slide, Cupid Shuffle, Superman, etc. Obligatory probably isn't the right word since I love to dance. I love to go out there and even more so, love having instructions on how to dance. I don't do the slow dancing and I don't do the beach music, I am all about the mainstream dancing. One of my favorite songs EVER is Usher's Yeah! What a wonderful classic song that even though it is several years old, I can't help but want to shake my money maker when it comes on. Unfortunately, by the time YEAH hit the DJ's playlist, my stomach was turning a bit from having drank from the chocolate fountain (which the caterer told me is a health code violation - oops!) So I had retired myself from the dance floor for the evening when the beats crossed my ears. I was still able to enjoy the song from my chair.

For those people who merely link to my blog from someone else's, this gives you a slight glimpse of my personality. For those of you who have been to a wedding with me, you'll know this video is somewhat tame. For those of you with whom I go to church, know that I do feel shame. To Doug's family, you'll see his over the top moves. To my mom, I can feel your pride coming through the screen. To Gabriel, wish you had been there!