Appreciation

Who doesn't take things for granted, right? I know I surely do! But after having my husband gone, I have a new appreciation for a lot of things. And a lot to say thank you for!

Thank you to the sisters-in-law who checked on me via emails, texts, phone calls, and invitations to do things!

Thank you to friends who brought me dinner and came to hang out at my house even though they had newborn babies! Thank you to the friends who invited me over for dinner and then sent me home with leftovers!

Thank you to friends who came and cut our grass and to the countless others that offered! Thank you to friends that monitored the dryness of our grass and instructed me on how to operate the sprinklers. Thank you to the world's greatest edger! Thank you to the dad who gave the yard one last once-over the day Doug got home.

Thank you to parents and inlaws who helped with Katie when I thought I needed to jump off a cliff.

Thank you to the sweet friends who understood and didn't think I was crazy for never mentioning his absence on facebook or the blog so that the world of "bad guys" wouldn't know I was home alone.

Thank you to friends who let me cry a few times when I was just plain tired and easily irritated.

And what a new appreciation I have for my husband, my partner, my best friend. Man - he does SO much that I never paid attention to or said thank you! Thank you for always making sippy cups, for always feeding Jack, for always getting me up in the morning, for taking turns bathing Katie and putting her to bed. Thank you for being such an amazing dad that your daughter missed like crazy.

Never in a million years would I have thought Katie would understand that Doug was gone. But boy was I wrong. She said every day that Daddy was far away, that he'd taken a plane to get there, and that he'd be back in a few weeks. She loved skyping with him and talking to him on speaker phone. She was sad that he wasn't there and knew that I was sad too. She missed him so much that she wanted me to pretend to be him by talking in a deep voice or chasing her like Daddy does. She was so happy he was coming home on Saturday. She started saving up kisses on Friday and would only give a few away since she had to save most for her daddy! She had been planning on running to him or letting him chase her or tickle her - but was clear that she didn't want him to get her toes!

We picked up Grandma Jones Saturday afternoon and made the drive to Charlotte. Grandma Jones let Katie bring the Elmo camera so she could take some pictures of her daddy when he got off the plane. She practiced a lot!

She also got to wear some lip gloss! She wanted to look good for her daddy! (I found myself pondering what to wear that day too...It kind of felt like a first date!)

This is how Katie "looks" for things. Instead of using her hand like a brim of a hat, she lifts it up like this. Too cute...looking for daddy!

Daddy's coming down the stairs and Katie bug is watching so intently!

She froze when he got to her and just stared at him! Finally she gave him the kisses she had been saving along with some pretty awesome hugs!

They were inseparable after that. She would not let go of him. She helped him find his luggage and talked to him about taking her to Bouncerrific when we got home.

And this is her souvenir from Scotland. A stuffed animal version of the Lochness Monster named Nessie. Nessie has gone to bed with her and pretty much everywhere else since she got her!

We are more than thrilled to have Doug home. I'm exhausted from parenting alone for three weeks but it's all fine now that he's home! We love you Doug and missed you more than words can say!

All I Need to Know in Life...

I learned from Zumba! Ok, I have learned things a lot more places other than Zumba, but I would say for the amount of time I've put into it (2 hours), it has yielded a much higher volume of knowledge than other things.

Here's my dumbed down version of what Zumba is - dancing. in a group. led by an instructor. with specific moves. and fun music. I've taken it twice at a rec center with my mom. Close to the best $10 ($5 each class) I've ever spent.

Here's what it taught me.

All women - regardless of age, ethnicity, size - want to dance. They just don't want the world to gawk at them.

Two words seem to be the same in any language - SHAKE and BOOTY - every woman there understood it and had their own version of it. And SEXY can't be said EVER without someone laughing somewhere. That someone is usually me.

Yelling releases all kinds of fun endorphins. People in the class just holler "yeah" at random! I didn't yell the first week but I let out of few "Woo"s that the Nature Boy Ric Flair would've been proud of at my next class.

Teachers are there to guide you. If you can't see the teacher, you can't just follow people following her. They're not always doing it right.

Falling in front of people is not fun. But being able to laugh about it makes you a better person.

Spend time doing something that someone else wants to do because you love them. You might just be surprised at how much you like it. (Or love it.)

Life is meant to be enjoyed. Exercise should be part of life and therefore should be enjoyed.

And something I learned about me, specifically, while doing Zumba...I really love to write! I spent most of both classes preoccupied with writing this blog post. I should've written things down after each class because now, two weeks later, I can't remember all the things I thought of. I'm reminded that "the best laid plans of mice and men often go astray!" But my mind is always writing. And I wish I had more time to do it. I want to try to make more time to do it! It's hard to put yourself out there and not worry about criticisms, but I think I'm past that point now. There's so many half started books or essays in my head and I wand to get them out.

Crafting with Crayons

There is a little birdie that comes into my house everyday and leaves me post it notes on my mirror or magazines in my bathroom or pictures on the fridge or letters in our office. Recently, this little birdie left a fun craft project print out on my counter. Katie and I decided to make use of some mother-daughter time and make new crayons thanks to our 2 page instruction print out!

First - dump out your bag of crayons and separate the broken ones. Usually these broken ones cause something similar to a seizure from Katie, so she had no problems taking them out of her everyday crayon stash!

Next, peel the paper off these pesky broken crayons!

Place the broken ones in your greased muffin pan. You can sort them by color or just toss them in with no rhyme or reason.

Now that the muffin pan is full, get them ready to meet their maker!

Place them in a 275 degree oven for about 8 minutes or until melted. Katie must've asked 15 times in those 8 minutes, "They melted yet Mommy?"

Now that they're out of the oven, you can use a toothpick to swirl some of the colors. I got a little swirl happy and they ended up stirred to a nice brown. The ones I didn't bother at all turned out the best. They were taking a while to cool off and harden so we put them in the freezer for about 20 minutes and then they were more than ready!

We dumped the pan of crayons onto the counter and talked about the fun new colors we saw.
She picked out her favorite one - green/yellow - and then was off to the races!

She's having fun with her new crayons and loves to tell you "I made them!"

You've Got a Friend in Me

Katie tries to be a good friend! She loves to hug her friends and give them kisses. And she's always very consoling if one of her friends is sad. She comes over and rubs their back and helps wipe tears. She knows who all the kids are in her preschool class and at church. She rattles off their names when we are on our way to school/church.

She loves the concept of friendship. She knows that mommy and daddy have friends and that she has friends. She knows friends help each other and laugh and play together too.

Two of her closest friends are Maddie and Caleb. They are frequent flyers on the blog and we are always trying to snap some good pictures of the three of them. Recently - there must've been some total eclips of the sun that allowed us to catch this on camera!

Three friends - arms around each other - loving life!

 

And then the stars aligned for this one! Two girls who can fight like sisters but love like it too!

 

A big change for Katie these days is that Maddie is no longer hanging out with her everyday. Maddie's mom is on maternity leave and is soaking up both her girls for the next few months! Katie certainly loves her Maddie Cakes and can't wait for their next playdate!

 

Two to the Core!

Katie is officially two and a half! These half birthdays have certainly stayed a big deal...in my head at least. I don't actually tell Katie that it's her half birthday, but I do everything in my power to make it a special day for her! This year, we did some Sandhills shopping and I accidentally dressed us alike! Then we went to a firend's surprise 30th birthday party at Sesqui and then capped it off at Chickfila with my dad!

She is talking so much more these days. She speaks in coherent complete sentences that aren't just repititions of what we say; they are frequently her own thoughts. She is so much fun to talk to and hang out with!

 

She still loves to color and play with play doh and read. She has also enjoyed playing with babies a bit more than she used to. She is quite the mother to them - wraps them up and feeds them and reads to them. Another new love is water guns! WOW - how did we go 2 1/2 years without water guns! She likes to stick the water gun in her nose and squirt away! I can imagine it doesn't feel good, but she laughs hysterically! She has started to enjoy music more. She will dance and sing along to some music from her preschool class. She'll even sing some on her own without being prompted!

A new milestone for her is sleeping in a big girl bed! We moved her in April and she's done really well. She's tried to get out a few times but will usually go right back to bed. Putting her to bed is still quite the process! Now that we lay with her to read and sing and pray, she wants us to "lay a little bit more" every night! It drags out bedtime close to 9pm sometimes!

 

She still isn't the best eater in the world. Her best meal is lunch. She typically does oatmeal or pancakes for breakfast and then a single chicken nugget and some sort of vegetable and a string cheese for dinner. It's crazy how little she eats sometimes!

We've toyed with potty training some. She just could care less about pull ups or big girl underwear. She doesn't care for the potty, whether it's hers or someone else's. She's very proud of her friends who are learning and even claps when they earn their potty rewards! I guess I will get serious about it soon. I was really hoping to have her potty trained before our beach trip this summer but that doesn't seem likely at this point.

We had two ear/sinus infections this spring. Both required antibiotics that were awful if you ask Katie. It was so annoying trying to give her two doses of this apparent "poison" each day for ten days. She just hated it! They were pretty rough on her stomach too and caused a good bit of throwing up as well!

 

She's wearing mostly 24 month and 2T clothes - but lots of 18 month shorts and dresses still fit. She weighs 27 pounds. She's in a size 8.5 shoe. She has all of her two year old molars now. Her hair is super long - about half way down her back. Her eyes still seem to fluctuate color between brown and hazel.

She is living up to the Terrible Twos as well. We do lots of time outs and "I'm sorry" and popping. She screams with frustration at little things all the time and can be such a whiner - about NOTHING! She thinks she should be able to dictate everything around her (like who should drive her places) and gets infuriated when she can't.

But she is without a doubt, the light of our lives! Her personality is strong for the most part but she can play "shy" with the best of them. We love you so much Katie! Happy Half Birthday!

 

A League of Our Own

It seems like almost every day last week, I was staring down the face of motherhood in some huge ways. I was surrounded on all sides by many different ideas of being a mom.

On Monday morning, one of my best friends, Jessica, gave birth to her second daughter. What an incredibly sweet thing to be a part of. I got to sit in the waiting room with her family and her daughter and then race to the nursery when we got the news that Peyton was here. I got to see Jessica shortly after giving birth and the light in her eyes that was all about Peyton gave me goose bumps. I can't wait to be that MOM again.

On Monday afternoon, I got a text from my brother that they're having a BOY! Nancy was thrilled (so was he - but this is about moms). She sent ultrasound pictures and just looking at his spine and hands and feet was breathtaking for me and I can remember how it felt to be that MOM.

On Tuesday morning, I emailed with a friend who told me of her recent miscarriage. My heart broke for that woman longing to be a MOM.

Later on Tuesday, I received news that a longtime friend of mine had just lost her 4 week old son. I sobbed for that MOM.

On Thursday, I attended the funeral for the little boy whose short life touched so many people. I sat with 3 other lifelong girlfriends. Two of these girls (women, actually) had each been given fatal and near fatal diagnoses of their children while in utero. One little boy is now 3 years old and the other turned one in January. These MOMs understand the miracle of life in its truest form. I watched from several rows back at the funeral as my friend who was saying goodbye to her son was cradled, literally, by her own mother. As my friend's shoulders shook from the uncontrollable crying, her mom squeezed her tighter and tighter and never let go. That MOM is tougher than steel.

On Sunday, I made breakfast for my Sunday school class using two of my grandmother's recipes. I had her handwritten recipe cards and couldn't help but wish she was there in the kitchen with me while I was cooking. She wouldn't even have to look at the cards and she wouldn't actually measure anything. That was an amazing MOM.

I spent Sunday afternoon with my mom at lunch and opened some really sweet cards from her and my dad. I always get two cards for every occasion. That is simply my MOM! The other part of the afternoon was spent with my mother in law and her mother watching cousins play with water guns and look for bugs. What an awesome time to reflect during the presence of four generations of family with those MOMs.

I am not any of those moms I encountered this week. Nor am I my friend who is celebrating Mother's Day for the first time with little twin boys after battling infertility. I am not my friend who lost both her grandmothers in a year. I am not my friend whose mom died when she was a teenager. I am not my friend who lives a thousand miles away from her mom and sisters. I am not my friend who boards a plane in just a few days to go meet her son she will soon adopt.

I am this MOM...

I am easily irritated at things that don't matter.
I am easily overjoyed at things that do matter.
I love to hear my daughter say "Mommy, don't go." But I hate it too.
I am the mom who has bows in every color for her daughter.
I am the mom who leaves for work every day and thanks God for a job to go to and a daughter and family to come home to.
I am the mom who struggles to find a balance between life's demands.
I have yelled at my daughter louder and longer than I care to admit.
I don't do a good job making sure my child eats properly.
I measure her height on the back of the laundry room door.
I let her go to bed with wet hair sometimes.
I forgot to make her brush her teeth tonight.
I love Wednesdays because she goes to school and always comes home with a craft.
I love watching movies through her eyes.
I have her pictures all over my desk.
I share milkshakes with her.
I discover new ways to "pretend."
I do summersaults in the grass.
I shove medicine down her throat because she hates most medicine.
I clean up throw up.
I change diapers (hopefully not too much longer).
I lay in bed with her for just "a few more minutes."
I smile at her love for her daddy.

But the truth is, none of us moms are any different after all. We are all MOMS. We love our children with every fiber of our being. We read books on how to be better moms. We try to give them an equal balance of what they want and what they need with a few sides of "because I said so" just for good measure. We pray for our children. We pray for ourselves as their mothers. Our hearts hurt when they hurt and you better not be the one to have hurt them. We rejoice when children are born because we know a new MOM was born that day too. We love our moms and usually end up just like them.

We rejoice. We marvel. We miscarry. We lose. We witness miracles. We sustain. We nourish. We remain long after we've gone.

We are weak but incredibly strong. We are steady but so unstable. We are real and magic. We are MOMs.

I'm so proud to be a mom and while part of that pride comes from being a mom to my wonderful daughter, most of the pride comes from being in a distinguished society of women whom God has called to be mothers.