The Grass is Always Greener

I know it is cliche for a Friday, but that's the mood I am in today. I remember having to journal about what this phrase meant when I was in middle school and I would love to find that journal and read what I thought then. I think most people associate this with wanting something they don't have and perceiving it as being better than what they have now. Most of the time, the thing they want is something they've never had before. But right now, my wishful thinking makes me want something I used to have.

Of course, I would love to have the body I had in high school. I would even take sophomore year of college body at this point. I know a lot of people long for their youth (Doug), but I still have mine so that's not what I am talking about either. Right now, I long for my old job. It was my first full time job out of college and I worked there for almost two years. I worked at USC Department of Medicine and was a secretary in a busy clinical office. The job itself was not the best in the world, but I learned a lot about the type of employee I should and could be. But the PEOPLE there were the best. (Most of them, you know every place has their fair share of crazies!) I loved them and they loved me. I felt encouraged and special every day. Maybe that's where my pompous ego comes from! The doctors and nurses there were the first people I called when I got engaged. (My family and best friend Lauren already knew). They were the first people I talked to at my wedding. I couldn't wait to tell them I was pregnant because I knew how happy for me they would be.

So, why all this nostalgia? I went to go see them at lunch today just to kill some time. I didn't get to see everyone, but the people I did see acted genuinely thrilled to see me. They got excited about my baby bump and hugged and gushed with me for about 15 minutes. It was the best. When I got to my car, I started crying (hormones, I am sure) because I just miss working in a happy place with fun people.

I really dislike my job and the atmosphere where I work. I don't get to go by my real name because there is another Rachel in the office, so I am now "RJ." Very professional, huh? I just feel under appreciated and overworked. When I talk about looking for something else, this guy I work with says, "Well, the grass is always greener." I want to tell him that I know that it is! I know because I had greener grass before and now I have dead grass with weeds everyone and absolutely no flowers!

The Department of Medicine had its faults as do all jobs, but on the whole I loved it there. So here's to you, Greener Grass! I miss you all!

(disclaimer: I am not usually sappy and try to always put some humor into my blog posts as there is just so much negativity all around all the time. So I promise to put something more light hearted up soon.)